This team will win. I promise. Mark it down. Take it to the house. Pay your mortgage. Use whatever metaphor youd like. The 2006 Royals will win at least, umm, 50 games (hey, its a start!). Kansas City is getting desperate. Where some people see apathy, I see thirst. This is not a town where the losing is sitting well. Instead, its a town where the losing has eaten everyone up, gnawed at their very guts. So you have to start protecting yourself sometime. You have to start developing a cynical exterior and an electroshock fence around your heart. Because when every season starts as a chance for redemption and ends with a last-place finish it stinks. You feel gullible and cheap.
Thats why once again Opening Day at the K Monday was a rabid sell-out of blue and white. Thats why hot dogs were chomped, beer was splashed and even Angel Berroa was cheered. Because its the one day its ok to be a Royals fan. This isnt the Staples Center or Madison Square Garden or Dodgers Stadium. This isnt a place to be seen. Its a place, for one day, to expect peanuts, not pennants.
You know the old punchline. Opening Day in Kansas City is special because its the only day the Royals are .500. After a 3-1 loss to the Tigers, it just might be all too true again. I will admit, however, theres something drastically different in that clubhouse. You just feel it walking in there. Last season, seemingly every player not named Mike Sweeney was trying to prove his worth at the major league level. Every fresh-faced kid should have still been in the minors (Mark Teahan) and every veteran was hanging on to one last dream (Emil Brown).
This season, there are guys that would make any MLB team. Kansas City isnŐt the Goodwill Store of baseball like it was in 05. Reggie Sanders was an important part of another title-contending Cardinals squad last year. Doug Meintewictz was holding down first base just 18 months ago for the World Champion Red Sox. Mark Grudzielanek hit nearly .300 last year while starting for St. Louis. These guys are legit. On a playoff team, every one of these guys are great bit parts. Unfortunately, on the Royals theyre the cornerstones.
The point is, the offense will be better that last year. Grud finally provides a legit two-hole hitter atop the lineup. Sanders gives Sween Dog protection. David DeJesus and Mark Teahan are a year more mature. The defense will be markedly superior to the 05 version. Of course, it couldnt be mush worse. Dougie Baseball and Grud shore up one of the leagues leakiest infields. The bullpen should be ok, assuming Mike McDougal continues his success from last year and makes it back from the DL in the expected six weeks. Buddy Bell had his chance to kick the tires last season. This year, he starts from scratch and puts his signature of fundamentals and accountability onto this squad.
But the starting rotation is still bad. I mean, really bad. Zack Grienke is now on the 60-day DL, meaning a return for the supposed future ace isnt likely until at earliest June. Runelvys -El Taco Grande- Hernandez ate his way into Triple-A Omaha and Jeremy Affeldt is still searching for answers. Joe Mays is wondering if he will ever come back from Tommy John surgery. Mark Redmans ERA expanded like the national deficit last season. Scott Elarton is your Opening Day starter because, well, hes the best of the worst.
This team will still lose 90 games. Just too many things have to break right for the Royals to stay around .500. Barry Bonds is more likely to get on the Subway diet. But I will admit, things are different this year and thats a good thing. Because Kansas Citians are tired of that electroshock treatment.
BEST OF: The Panthers Dancers stop by and don't stop talking for twenty minutes. Wait, you're home schooled? BEST OF: Heat legend Glen Rice in studio on dropping 56 on the Magic, Final Fours and MMA. BEST OF: "The Obama Guy" now has D.A.'s old job! He asked the Prez a question, then he joined the show. BEST OF: Phil and Chris Simms drop by the broadcast to rap about dad's career and son's future. BEST OF: Why so few minority college coaches? DA answers with one word: Boosters. BEST OF: When a Super Bowl MVP and Hall of Famer talks, you listen. The immortal Lynn Swann. BEST OF: TNA Wrestling's Traci Brooks on being blessed with, ahem, great dimensions. DA LOVES THE KIDS: After Marlins summer-camp day, the next gen of Fish Fans might be in trouble. DA LOVES THE KIDS: Part 1 Heat charity camp shows us D-Wright's defense needs a little work.
DA LOVES THE KIDS: Part 2 Not everyone is thrilled with the hiring of Eric Spoelstra. INSTANT CLASSIC: Free-agent Joe Horn blasts his old coaches and asks for Dolphins forgiveness, all live on the show! INSTANT CLASSIC: The man who took down Kimbo Slice: overnight celebrity Seth Petruzelli talks about the fight that stunned the fight world. BEST OF: Author Jeff Pearlman on the controversial Cowboys dynasty. Uh, ew. BEST OF: Heat rookie Mario Chalmers needs help hot-boxing. Cough, cough.. BEST OF: DA is named a Godfather. Can he handle the responsibility or will he sleep with the fishes? BEST OF: DA witnesses the greatest kids game ever. Rock, paper, scissors, space! STAR WARS GEEKS: Part 1 DA goes where no sportstalk host has gone before: Star Wars premier night.
STAR WARS GEEKS: Part 2 Will DA make it out alive or turn into an extra from the Cantina Bar? INSTANT CLASSIC: Legend of the MMA Dan "Hendo" Henderson on the circus attraction to Kimbo and the rise of UFC. BEST OF: New UFC Champ Forrest Griffin on the belt and bouncing out of fighting while the gettin's good. INSTANT CLASSIC: Zo's youth clinic brings us immediate joy: Heat Kids Say the Darndest Things BEST OF: Miami boxer Joey "Twinkle Fingers" Hernandez found himself on the streets. How he got his mojo back. BEST OF: CBS4 Weather Wizard and Miss Florida Lissette Gonzalez on the jet-stream and the wave. BEST OF: Marino delivers a commencement speech and DA's own graduation horrors. INSTANT CLASSIC: Cats winger Nathan Horton is married to a Playmate? Oops. INSTANT CLASSIC: What does JoePa really mean at pressers? Ask Penn State 101. INSTANT CLASSIC: St. Patty's Day means celebrating Irish sports legends: DA Show style. INSTANT CLASSIC: Canes Big Man Dwayne Collins has his Aladdin DVD stolen. The Horror! INSTANT CLASSIC: Dontrelle says peace to South Florida with DA. Here's his Top-3 movies of all-time. SUPER BOWL XLII: NYG's Lawrence Tynes stops by after the ticker tape parade. INSTANT CLASSIC: Is Shaq becoming M.C. Hammer Jr? Say it ain't so. INSTANT CLASSIC: DA melts down as his alma mater brings brings back the dimwitted Greg Robinson for more SU pain. INSTANT CLASSIC: This placed DA squarely on the Chiefs blacklist forever. DA and King Carl in THE Battle Royale. BEST OF: Where it all started: Herm
and Carl agree... Damon is a nice name. SUPER BOWL XL: D.A. does his best investigative work ever. It's the field turf press conference from Detroit. INSTANT CLASSIC: The Mark Mangino Montage tastes better than ever! INSTANT CLASSIC: The 2007 Herm-Gasm. 'Nuff said. INSTANT CLASSIC: The Chiefs Dept. of Misinformation is at it once again. Are the Chiefs wearing white or not? Don't ask them. INSTANT CLASSIC: Chicago's legendary Mike North joins DA to preview Chiefs- Bears. Da Bears! INSTANT CLASSIC : The annual DA Show NBA Mock Draft is here... with a return from Stormbot. FEATURED AUDIO: Royals legend Denny Matthews has bought his first cell phone. Unfortunately, it's not as easy as 6-4-3. FEATURED AUDIO: A fond DA Show farewell to Buddy Bell. He really was "Our Buddy." FEATURED AUDIO
: Lauren Nichole has made quite an impression with her traffic reports. Great or gross? You decide. The
one, the only, Zach Greinke from Royals Spring Training. The
2007 One NIT NIT Moment.
The 2006 Caller Hall of Fame Track One: Christopher Walken's legendary roast
of the new class
First the staff. Then listeners. Now LJ has the Herm-gasm? Crazy
Ray sings the Growing Pains theme song. The
Royals 70's jingle that puts a smile on your face during another horrid season
in KC. The
local TV anchors slip up on the broadcast and luckily the D.A. Show was rolling
tape. 6-6-06:
The Crypt Keeper's Holiday Crazy
Ray displays his talent for singing. Could he make a run at the next American
Idol? Oklahoma
takes it on the chin with this famous call from R.B. Missed
any of the NIT NIT action? Check out the recaps of the games and a special
edition of The One NIT NIT Moment. We
couldn't leave Alex the Intern out of the mix, check out the drunk dial message
Alex left for D.A. The
D.A. Show tribute to Alan Thicke.
Is
Crazy Ray really crazy? Take a listen to find out.
A
D.A. Show Investigation reveals color commentators handing out the pink slip
to local college coaches.
Quinner's
feeling a bit down. We ask, what's wrong with Quinn Snyder? Herm Edwards gave us quotable material right from jump street. He gets a montage based on his introduction presser. A
staple of any good office party. It's the Dick Vermeil montage XP: final edition.
Duh, ok.
DA's Hometown Hottie contest created controversy throughout KC. Radio superstar Johnny Dare stuck his nose in the middle of it. The
callers finally had their own chance to put their stamp on the Vermeil montage Why
do the sista's hate the show? It all started here: Yvette's call of the day The original D.A. Show parody of Jim Rome's smack-off (circa '04). The '05 D.A. Show parody of Jim Rome's smack-off, complete with a certain national columnist. The '06 smack-smack, which brought all the D.A. Show legends together for one fab event. You asked for it. We delivered. DA Show icon Alan Thicke's first appearance.
This team will win. I promise. Mark it down. Take it to the house. Pay your mortgage. Use whatever metaphor youd like. The 2006 Royals will win at least, umm, 50 games (hey, its a start!). Kansas City is getting desperate. Where some people see apathy, I see thirst. This is not a town where the losing is sitting well. Instead, its a town where the losing has eaten everyone up, gnawed at their very guts. So you have to start protecting yourself sometime. You have to start developing a cynical exterior and an electroshock fence around your heart. Because when every season starts as a chance for redemption and ends with a last-place finish it stinks. You feel gullible and cheap. 
