(Editor's note: This column appears in the November issue of "KC Sports and Fitness")
After 106 losses, don’t we deserve a respite? Shouldn’t there be a mandated Royals-free zone? Let’s all agree on this. How’s four months? Once the season ends, no one in Kansas City gets to utter the word, “Royals,” until February 1st.
That seems fair. That way we get to firmly bury the image of another lost season into our subconscious, only to reappear as an emotional reflex to another blown save or botched grounder in ‘06.
I’m still allowing everyone to go about their annual business regarding the franchise, it will just have to be on the down low. Just picked up season tickets for 2006? Can’t yell across the cubicle to a coworker. Nope, now you’ll have to whisper, “Reported to base (team ticket offices) yesterday after work and spied some furniture (chose my seats). Not bad. Great view of the east
falls (left field water fountains). Plus, I’m close enough to hear Mighty Mike (Mike Sweeney) yank his back out again.”
I’m instituting this policy of sleuthing to save us from ourselves. Sometimes we need the protection. Critics opine the past 15 years of losing have numbed Kansas Citians to the anger, frustration and displeasure. That makes less sense than “Breaking Bonaduce.” Losing has only forced this fan base to look for any and all silver linings, no matter how small. Now that the
World Series is over and the 2005 baseball season is mercilessly behind us, it’s time to answer the most important lingering question: should Allard Baird be fired? It’s just not right to stew on this all off season. It’s not like frigid, icy days of darkness just fly by. Maybe we can rest easier this winter.
Simple answer? Yes, Baird has earned the axe. In his five-plus years as general manager, he has presided over four of the six worst seasons in franchise history. Yep, for 80% of his tenure the franchise has hit rock bottom and annually keeps
finding a lower bed. That includes three 100 loss seasons in four years, a feat not even accomplished by the putrid Devil Rays (who at times, seemed to be trying for it). The last time a baseball team had a run this bad was the expansion Blue Jays in the mid-70s. Too bad Kansas City has been playing baseball for 40 years.
We needed to see definite growth from KC’s young core of players last season to assure us Baird has this team heading in the right direction. Yet, catcher John Buck and third-baseman Mark Teahan have not shown the discipline nor pop at
the plate which justifies being traded for Carlos Beltran. Shortstop Angel Berroa has regressed into a defensive AND offensive liability since his standout rookie campaign in ‘03. Most glaringly, however, the once-fresh pitching staff has grown moldy. Jeremy Affeldt seems lost in his ever-changing role. Chris George and Jimmy Gobble appear to already be washed-up prospects. Most frighteningly, future “ace” Zack Greinke was hit harder than a tackling sled this season, finishing with a 5-17 record and a 5.80 ERA.
The drive-thru window of “savior pitching coaches” is still open every offseason, the most recent victim Guy Hansen. Forget trying to grade out Baird’s free-agent acquisitions. Is there an “H?” Better yet, an “X?” Juan Gonzalez. Benito Santiago. Scott Sullivan. Eli Marrero. Jose Lima. Hurts just typing those. Ownershipwould have been better off lighting those millions on fire and keeping energy costs down at the K.
Understandably, this is a “damned if you do, damned if you don’t” position. The next G.M. will have the same young core of players to deal with, the same budgetary constraints. But, the hand Baird has drawn for this franchise looks ugly and
someone else needs to draw the next. There’s not another ownership group in the league that would still pay Baird on the first and fifteenth.
So, let’s play a four-month game of “Powder Blue and Vanilla Sky.” You’re Tom Cruise and will selectively delete last season’s memory folder of baseball images. You’re now getting sleepy. Just lay down and nap until February. By then, it will almost be time for pitchers and catchers to report to Roy... uh, KC’s baseball camp. Oops. Almost slipped.
BEST OF: The Panthers Dancers stop by and don't stop talking for twenty minutes. Wait, you're home schooled? BEST OF: Heat legend Glen Rice in studio on dropping 56 on the Magic, Final Fours and MMA. BEST OF: "The Obama Guy" now has D.A.'s old job! He asked the Prez a question, then he joined the show. BEST OF: Phil and Chris Simms drop by the broadcast to rap about dad's career and son's future. BEST OF: Why so few minority college coaches? DA answers with one word: Boosters. BEST OF: When a Super Bowl MVP and Hall of Famer talks, you listen. The immortal Lynn Swann. BEST OF: TNA Wrestling's Traci Brooks on being blessed with, ahem, great dimensions. DA LOVES THE KIDS: After Marlins summer-camp day, the next gen of Fish Fans might be in trouble. DA LOVES THE KIDS: Part 1 Heat charity camp shows us D-Wright's defense needs a little work.
DA LOVES THE KIDS: Part 2 Not everyone is thrilled with the hiring of Eric Spoelstra. INSTANT CLASSIC: Free-agent Joe Horn blasts his old coaches and asks for Dolphins forgiveness, all live on the show! INSTANT CLASSIC: The man who took down Kimbo Slice: overnight celebrity Seth Petruzelli talks about the fight that stunned the fight world. BEST OF: Author Jeff Pearlman on the controversial Cowboys dynasty. Uh, ew. BEST OF: Heat rookie Mario Chalmers needs help hot-boxing. Cough, cough.. BEST OF: DA is named a Godfather. Can he handle the responsibility or will he sleep with the fishes? BEST OF: DA witnesses the greatest kids game ever. Rock, paper, scissors, space! STAR WARS GEEKS: Part 1 DA goes where no sportstalk host has gone before: Star Wars premier night.
STAR WARS GEEKS: Part 2 Will DA make it out alive or turn into an extra from the Cantina Bar? INSTANT CLASSIC: Legend of the MMA Dan "Hendo" Henderson on the circus attraction to Kimbo and the rise of UFC. BEST OF: New UFC Champ Forrest Griffin on the belt and bouncing out of fighting while the gettin's good. INSTANT CLASSIC: Zo's youth clinic brings us immediate joy: Heat Kids Say the Darndest Things BEST OF: Miami boxer Joey "Twinkle Fingers" Hernandez found himself on the streets. How he got his mojo back. BEST OF: CBS4 Weather Wizard and Miss Florida Lissette Gonzalez on the jet-stream and the wave. BEST OF: Marino delivers a commencement speech and DA's own graduation horrors. INSTANT CLASSIC: Cats winger Nathan Horton is married to a Playmate? Oops. INSTANT CLASSIC: What does JoePa really mean at pressers? Ask Penn State 101. INSTANT CLASSIC: St. Patty's Day means celebrating Irish sports legends: DA Show style. INSTANT CLASSIC: Canes Big Man Dwayne Collins has his Aladdin DVD stolen. The Horror! INSTANT CLASSIC: Dontrelle says peace to South Florida with DA. Here's his Top-3 movies of all-time. SUPER BOWL XLII: NYG's Lawrence Tynes stops by after the ticker tape parade. INSTANT CLASSIC: Is Shaq becoming M.C. Hammer Jr? Say it ain't so. INSTANT CLASSIC: DA melts down as his alma mater brings brings back the dimwitted Greg Robinson for more SU pain. INSTANT CLASSIC: This placed DA squarely on the Chiefs blacklist forever. DA and King Carl in THE Battle Royale. BEST OF: Where it all started: Herm
and Carl agree... Damon is a nice name. SUPER BOWL XL: D.A. does his best investigative work ever. It's the field turf press conference from Detroit. INSTANT CLASSIC: The Mark Mangino Montage tastes better than ever! INSTANT CLASSIC: The 2007 Herm-Gasm. 'Nuff said. INSTANT CLASSIC: The Chiefs Dept. of Misinformation is at it once again. Are the Chiefs wearing white or not? Don't ask them. INSTANT CLASSIC: Chicago's legendary Mike North joins DA to preview Chiefs- Bears. Da Bears! INSTANT CLASSIC : The annual DA Show NBA Mock Draft is here... with a return from Stormbot. FEATURED AUDIO: Royals legend Denny Matthews has bought his first cell phone. Unfortunately, it's not as easy as 6-4-3. FEATURED AUDIO: A fond DA Show farewell to Buddy Bell. He really was "Our Buddy." FEATURED AUDIO
: Lauren Nichole has made quite an impression with her traffic reports. Great or gross? You decide. The
one, the only, Zach Greinke from Royals Spring Training. The
2007 One NIT NIT Moment.
The 2006 Caller Hall of Fame Track One: Christopher Walken's legendary roast
of the new class
First the staff. Then listeners. Now LJ has the Herm-gasm? Crazy
Ray sings the Growing Pains theme song. The
Royals 70's jingle that puts a smile on your face during another horrid season
in KC. The
local TV anchors slip up on the broadcast and luckily the D.A. Show was rolling
tape. 6-6-06:
The Crypt Keeper's Holiday Crazy
Ray displays his talent for singing. Could he make a run at the next American
Idol? Oklahoma
takes it on the chin with this famous call from R.B. Missed
any of the NIT NIT action? Check out the recaps of the games and a special
edition of The One NIT NIT Moment. We
couldn't leave Alex the Intern out of the mix, check out the drunk dial message
Alex left for D.A. The
D.A. Show tribute to Alan Thicke.
Is
Crazy Ray really crazy? Take a listen to find out.
A
D.A. Show Investigation reveals color commentators handing out the pink slip
to local college coaches.
Quinner's
feeling a bit down. We ask, what's wrong with Quinn Snyder? Herm Edwards gave us quotable material right from jump street. He gets a montage based on his introduction presser. A
staple of any good office party. It's the Dick Vermeil montage XP: final edition.
Duh, ok.
DA's Hometown Hottie contest created controversy throughout KC. Radio superstar Johnny Dare stuck his nose in the middle of it. The
callers finally had their own chance to put their stamp on the Vermeil montage Why
do the sista's hate the show? It all started here: Yvette's call of the day The original D.A. Show parody of Jim Rome's smack-off (circa '04). The '05 D.A. Show parody of Jim Rome's smack-off, complete with a certain national columnist. The '06 smack-smack, which brought all the D.A. Show legends together for one fab event. You asked for it. We delivered. DA Show icon Alan Thicke's first appearance.
(Editor's note: This column appears in the November issue of "KC Sports and Fitness")
