J.P. Howell just served up a monster HR to Rangers slugger Mark Teixeira, the Royals promptly trail 3-nil after three. While there have been flashes of success (brilliance could be hyperbole says Jim Nantz) from the starters this final week of tune-up, more often than not the gopher balls are flying. Yesterday, Elarton got roughed up to the tune of 11 H and 7 ER in 5 IN. Affeldt was hit hard at times against the Giants Monday and Gobble was eaten alive against the Mariners. You think the sixth pitching coach in five years could lead to some confusion for this staff? Leo Mazzone rocked on the Braves bench for a decade and a half. At this point, I expect Leo Durocher and Leo Lyons to coach the KC pitchers before the decade is out.
Emil Brown just gagged on a long fly in LF. He started in, backtracked, reached up and it hit the base of the wall over his head. We need to have a term for defensive plays atrociously misjudged. Emil obviously corners the market on these. Remember last year when Brown tried to field a one-hopper and actually booted it like a corner kick into CF? At the end of every show we have the Email of the Day. How about an Emil of the Day? By the way, Brown joins us tomorrow morning on the show. His comments about working on his defense (just not as hard as his offense) are true comedy.
FYI: Aspiring criminal masterminds. Forget banks, jewelers and armored trucks. You wanna knock over something worthwhile? How about the semi hauling all the players cars back home to KC? Sitting in the Surprise Stadium parking lot today is a trailer carrying an H2, a Beamer, a Benz and two Escalades. What? Sweeney doesnt get to strain his lower back on a 22-hour drive across the country like I did to get to and from the Super Bowl? Wuss. Then again, Im positive Im not worth 11-million to my employers. In fact, Im not sure Im worth a double-double Animal-style.
Thursday, 3:17 CST
Say hello Kansas City to your 2006 Cactus League champs! Damn, it feels good to be a gangster. The Royals complete a 16-9-2 spring training campaign with a 6-4 win just moments ago. This gives the Royals a percentage points win over the 17-10 Angels. Its all about the ties boys and girls. Champagne is being popped as we speak in the clubhouse, Budd Bell just got a Gatorade shower and Allard Baird tried to high-five 106-year-old David Glass (Glass stared back and asked where the pudding was). Commemorative t-shirts will be on sale at the Kauffman Stadium team shop. This is Kansas City!
Wednesday, 4:22 CST
The Royals jump on top of the Mariners 8-zip after two innings. Attention Kansas City, this team has designs on a championship! Kansas City has rapped Jamie Moyers knuckles with a ruler. KC puts up a four-spot in both the 1st and 2nd, as newly acquired Tony Graffanino goes granny to complete the damage. Guess the mourning period for Super Joe McEwing is over. Graffy is an upgrade on paper in every way over Lil Joe, but will he accept a bit-role on a last-place team after chasing the postseason with Boston last year? Laffy Graffy is well, lets just say not all that laughy in his old age.
Japanese media are in full effect this afternoon in Peoria, AZ, home of the Ms. As always, the Ichiro watch is gaining steam. Id like to know how Barry Bonds would react having these cats following his every move from February through October. By my count there are 11 Japanese print media covering todays game alone. Theres an entire row assigned to them in the Peoria Stadium press box. As always, the culture divide isnt nearly as wide as you may think. The dude sitting next to me is playing Solitaire between Ichiro at-bats. I need to download a Q-bert simulator for all of Paul Bakos plate appearances.
Bad times right now for Royals starter Scott Elarton. The Ms have crawled back in it with five unanswered runs. Seattle has mashed three HRs off Elarton, including one by Richie Sexson that just spent more time in the desert air than the Suns Gorilla mascot. Len Dawson called him -Scott Arlington- in one Ch. 9 sportscast a few weeks back. An outing like this on Opening Day, in front of the only sellout of the year, and Scott might want to go with that.
The Cactus League story of the day however would be West Coast fastfood chain, In-n-Out Burger. People are obsessed, kinda like me and Chick-Fil-A. Rumor has it, Im not allowed to cross state borders until I purchase a double-double. Heres the deal: its a very basic menu, with just a handful of entree options. The key is ordering your burger in a secret code. Its not listed anywhere in the restaurant, you just have to know the options and lingo. I ask around the Mariners press box and come up with this rudimentary understanding. Animal Style means grilled onions. Jungle Style is no bun, two lettuce leaves wrapped around it instead. Theres a secret Thousand-Island sauce you can ask for. Then the mind-eraser. You can get a quadruple-quadruple (four patties, four slices of cheese) or if you dont mind seeing the little light, a quintuple-quintuple (five and five). And you wonder how Runelvys Hernandez showed up to camp at 280? Again, this is just my early cave drawing of In-n-Out knowledge. I promise more as the week rolls on.
Tuesday, 7:57 CST
Now this is cool. Im currently blogging from LF of Surprise Stadium. Somehow, the press box Wi-Fi is working all the way out here. You thought normal media rows were boring, stiff and where fun when to die? Well, compared to a Spring Training press box, the regular season is a summer pass to Worlds of Fun. Royals lead the Brew-Crew 1-zip, top three. Kling and I feel really good after a Humbertos run. Yep, thats the shady Mexican taco stand (complete with window bars) we frequented last spring. The best part of Humbertos? The drive-thru intercom is on the fritz, so an employee walks out of a swinging screen door, comes up to your car, takes your order and walks it back inside.
Very strange day in the Royals clubhouse. Tony Graffanino claimed off waivers means clubhouse favorite Joe McEwing is out in the street. Sure, its part of the business, but every so often sports is just like picking your team in the backyard. You want to win but, even more, you want your friends on the team. Graff makes baseball sense. He's a better all-around player than Super Joe, can play all infield positions and doesnt cost you anything in compensation. But, the guys were very candid in how much they wanted their lovable homeboy on this team.
The most intriguing part of the day was a conversation with reliever Mike Wood. Hes one of the young guys that has grown within the franchise alongside Zack Grienke. When asked about the Wack Zacko situation, Wood admitted he was disappointed Grinke wasnt returning phone calls and the team has been left to wonder about his return. But Wood went on to say essentially, if Grienke doesnt want to be part of the team, they dont want him around either. This is the first public criticism we have heard from any of the Royals. Its understandable. The team is ready to break camp and one of their aces is lost without reason. Woods full interview will run on the show Thursday.
Monday, 3:14p CST
Ah, we are back. And it feels great. The air is dry, the jock straps are sweaty and the shady drive-thru taco stands are everywhere. (Editors Note: all three are not dependent upon one another.) The third annual trip to cover the Cactus League began last night for us here in Zona. Kling and I hopped on the rolling tube of terror, aka the Greyhound of the air, aka Southwest Airlines and deplaned around 10:00p Sunday evening.
Clearly, 610 Sports was bought by another, larger corporate conglomo with deeper pockets and no one told me. Forget bunking in the TV room of a station staffer. No more driving halfway across the continental 48. The DA Show is pimping in style here in the Valley of the Sun. The hotel were staying has no bars on the windows, has a pool that has been cleaned since the early 80s and can not be seen from the nearest railroad tracks. These are all good things for a pair of guys going on the air at 4:30a local time. First day down here isnt the warmest on record. Overcast skies dominate the day. Potential rain had everyone talking. Apparently, its rained here twice since Halloween. How can humans live here? Its like the American Sahara, but with waves. Are Arizonians washing their hair with Red Bull?
Runelvys Hernandez has eaten his way out of the rotation (something that could happen to me with another late-night Del Taco run). Buddy Bell announced today that El Guapo would be demoted to the fifth spot in the rotation, which wont come up until April 14th. Essentially, this gives Mark Redman time to heal and return to grab the spot. Read between the lines and Bell is ticked off Hernandez reported to camp at 280, hasnt shown the determination to shed the pounds and ensuingly, has gotten throttled in his starts to the tune of a 7.50 era. Gotta love team officials insisting hes lost 10-15 pounds. Thats like taking a cup of water out of the bathtub. This makes pitcher numero dos the Royals had counted on for 2006 and found flake out on them, as Wacko Zacko is still in Florida working out personal issues.
The good news? The Royals put up a 15-spot on the Giants in Scottsdale this afternoon. Mark Teahan banged one off the bag in right for an RBI-triple, causing a light tremor in Allard Bairds GM box. Can Teahan show enough pop for a corner infielder? Hey, its a start. Aaron Guiel has really cool hair. Its long, blonde and flowing, he looks like a WWE wrestler. Ill stop now before the -DA man crush- emails start pouring in. But hes Canadian, so I guess he gets a free pass. Finally, Del Taco is slightly better than Taco Bell, but not much. However, you dont BIGGIE size at Del Taco, you -MACHO- size which is a homerun punchline for all types of jokes. Its like the do-it-all blender of humor.
BEST OF: The Panthers Dancers stop by and don't stop talking for twenty minutes. Wait, you're home schooled? BEST OF: Heat legend Glen Rice in studio on dropping 56 on the Magic, Final Fours and MMA. BEST OF: "The Obama Guy" now has D.A.'s old job! He asked the Prez a question, then he joined the show. BEST OF: Phil and Chris Simms drop by the broadcast to rap about dad's career and son's future. BEST OF: Why so few minority college coaches? DA answers with one word: Boosters. BEST OF: When a Super Bowl MVP and Hall of Famer talks, you listen. The immortal Lynn Swann. BEST OF: TNA Wrestling's Traci Brooks on being blessed with, ahem, great dimensions. DA LOVES THE KIDS: After Marlins summer-camp day, the next gen of Fish Fans might be in trouble. DA LOVES THE KIDS: Part 1 Heat charity camp shows us D-Wright's defense needs a little work.
DA LOVES THE KIDS: Part 2 Not everyone is thrilled with the hiring of Eric Spoelstra. INSTANT CLASSIC: Free-agent Joe Horn blasts his old coaches and asks for Dolphins forgiveness, all live on the show! INSTANT CLASSIC: The man who took down Kimbo Slice: overnight celebrity Seth Petruzelli talks about the fight that stunned the fight world. BEST OF: Author Jeff Pearlman on the controversial Cowboys dynasty. Uh, ew. BEST OF: Heat rookie Mario Chalmers needs help hot-boxing. Cough, cough.. BEST OF: DA is named a Godfather. Can he handle the responsibility or will he sleep with the fishes? BEST OF: DA witnesses the greatest kids game ever. Rock, paper, scissors, space! STAR WARS GEEKS: Part 1 DA goes where no sportstalk host has gone before: Star Wars premier night.
STAR WARS GEEKS: Part 2 Will DA make it out alive or turn into an extra from the Cantina Bar? INSTANT CLASSIC: Legend of the MMA Dan "Hendo" Henderson on the circus attraction to Kimbo and the rise of UFC. BEST OF: New UFC Champ Forrest Griffin on the belt and bouncing out of fighting while the gettin's good. INSTANT CLASSIC: Zo's youth clinic brings us immediate joy: Heat Kids Say the Darndest Things BEST OF: Miami boxer Joey "Twinkle Fingers" Hernandez found himself on the streets. How he got his mojo back. BEST OF: CBS4 Weather Wizard and Miss Florida Lissette Gonzalez on the jet-stream and the wave. BEST OF: Marino delivers a commencement speech and DA's own graduation horrors. INSTANT CLASSIC: Cats winger Nathan Horton is married to a Playmate? Oops. INSTANT CLASSIC: What does JoePa really mean at pressers? Ask Penn State 101. INSTANT CLASSIC: St. Patty's Day means celebrating Irish sports legends: DA Show style. INSTANT CLASSIC: Canes Big Man Dwayne Collins has his Aladdin DVD stolen. The Horror! INSTANT CLASSIC: Dontrelle says peace to South Florida with DA. Here's his Top-3 movies of all-time. SUPER BOWL XLII: NYG's Lawrence Tynes stops by after the ticker tape parade. INSTANT CLASSIC: Is Shaq becoming M.C. Hammer Jr? Say it ain't so. INSTANT CLASSIC: DA melts down as his alma mater brings brings back the dimwitted Greg Robinson for more SU pain. INSTANT CLASSIC: This placed DA squarely on the Chiefs blacklist forever. DA and King Carl in THE Battle Royale. BEST OF: Where it all started: Herm
and Carl agree... Damon is a nice name. SUPER BOWL XL: D.A. does his best investigative work ever. It's the field turf press conference from Detroit. INSTANT CLASSIC: The Mark Mangino Montage tastes better than ever! INSTANT CLASSIC: The 2007 Herm-Gasm. 'Nuff said. INSTANT CLASSIC: The Chiefs Dept. of Misinformation is at it once again. Are the Chiefs wearing white or not? Don't ask them. INSTANT CLASSIC: Chicago's legendary Mike North joins DA to preview Chiefs- Bears. Da Bears! INSTANT CLASSIC : The annual DA Show NBA Mock Draft is here... with a return from Stormbot. FEATURED AUDIO: Royals legend Denny Matthews has bought his first cell phone. Unfortunately, it's not as easy as 6-4-3. FEATURED AUDIO: A fond DA Show farewell to Buddy Bell. He really was "Our Buddy." FEATURED AUDIO
: Lauren Nichole has made quite an impression with her traffic reports. Great or gross? You decide. The
one, the only, Zach Greinke from Royals Spring Training. The
2007 One NIT NIT Moment.
The 2006 Caller Hall of Fame Track One: Christopher Walken's legendary roast
of the new class
First the staff. Then listeners. Now LJ has the Herm-gasm? Crazy
Ray sings the Growing Pains theme song. The
Royals 70's jingle that puts a smile on your face during another horrid season
in KC. The
local TV anchors slip up on the broadcast and luckily the D.A. Show was rolling
tape. 6-6-06:
The Crypt Keeper's Holiday Crazy
Ray displays his talent for singing. Could he make a run at the next American
Idol? Oklahoma
takes it on the chin with this famous call from R.B. Missed
any of the NIT NIT action? Check out the recaps of the games and a special
edition of The One NIT NIT Moment. We
couldn't leave Alex the Intern out of the mix, check out the drunk dial message
Alex left for D.A. The
D.A. Show tribute to Alan Thicke.
Is
Crazy Ray really crazy? Take a listen to find out.
A
D.A. Show Investigation reveals color commentators handing out the pink slip
to local college coaches.
Quinner's
feeling a bit down. We ask, what's wrong with Quinn Snyder? Herm Edwards gave us quotable material right from jump street. He gets a montage based on his introduction presser. A
staple of any good office party. It's the Dick Vermeil montage XP: final edition.
Duh, ok.
DA's Hometown Hottie contest created controversy throughout KC. Radio superstar Johnny Dare stuck his nose in the middle of it. The
callers finally had their own chance to put their stamp on the Vermeil montage Why
do the sista's hate the show? It all started here: Yvette's call of the day The original D.A. Show parody of Jim Rome's smack-off (circa '04). The '05 D.A. Show parody of Jim Rome's smack-off, complete with a certain national columnist. The '06 smack-smack, which brought all the D.A. Show legends together for one fab event. You asked for it. We delivered. DA Show icon Alan Thicke's first appearance.
Final blog entry, Thursday, 1:47 CST
