The New Year is the perfect time to look back at past twelve months and learn from our mistakes. But for Kansas City sports fans in 2006, are there any lessons left to learn? 2005 served us dashed Super Bowl hopes, another 100-loss season, a March Madness tourney upset, NCAA investigations and the ABA (yes, the ABA itself is a harsh lesson in reality). What else is left? The plague: Priest Holmes’ myriad maladies. The flood: The twenty-year anniversary of the Royals only World Championship washed out in a weekend-long rainstorm. Locusts: Well, how about armies of rats scurrying through Kemper. So, let’s make the list of 2006 Sports Resolutions knowing we’ve seen the worst (let’s hope).
I will not waste brain cells decoding Dick Vermeil’s latest press conference.
Should Grandpa Dick return for his sixth season as head coach of the Chiefs, it’s imperative we take his “Vermielism” malapropos as simple, family fun entertainment. “Each player’s knee is his own knee,” “If a frog had wings he could fly,” and “Yesterday becomes tomorrow pretty fast in this league,” were all fan favorites from his Tuesday lunch press conferences in 2005. As for their football value? Well, that’s better left not tabulated.
I will not buy into the Royals “plan.”
This is not to say we won’t root for the powder blue in 2006, because we unquestionably will. But, in 2005 GM Allard Baird admitted the error of his ways in looking for veteran quick fixes for so long. Of course, after a grueling 106-loss season defined by a youth movement, Baird signed aging vets Doug Meintkewictz, Mark Grudzalanek, Mark Redmond and 38-year-old Reggie Sanders to play significant roles this season. Yep, that looks like a youth movement (for 1993).
If I need to report a crime in Lawrence I will call the KU athletic department.
For a program that has always prided itself on keeping a clean nose off the playing fields, the Jayhawks were wearing orange jump suits plenty in ’05. Fullback Bruce Ringwood was suspended for allegedly slugging a husband and wife in the face at a country music concert. Tailback John Randle was kicked off the team for his third arrest after allegedly urinating on the wall of a bar and getting into an altercation with the owner. Shooting guard J.R. Giddens transferred to New Mexico after his arrest for allegedly starting a brawl outside a karaoke bar. At least Baby Jay stayed out of trouble.
If I coach a mid-major school I will call Quin Snyder to schedule
How Quinner keeps his job in Columbia is anyone’s guess (including AD Mike Alden. Is he awake or are they just propping up his dead body like Bernie Lomax?). Over the last two-plus seasons, Mizzou has lost to Belmont, Sam Houston State and Davidson… TWICE! The Tigers also squeaked by Texas A & M-Corpus Christie by one at home. The Islanders have been playing organized basketball for less time than O.J. Mayo. If everyone outside of Andy Katz needs an atlas to find your campus, send Quinner a gift basket and get a home-and-home. Then again, it could hurt your RPI.
Lastly, but most importantly I will NOT socialize at the troughs
We all need to be on the same page here. At both Kauffman and Arrowhead Stadiums’ restrooms, the protocol for ’06 will be: wait in line, step forward, unzip, finish, re-zip and step left towards the exit. At no point in between will we carry on conversation, argue that last third-down call or blast Buddy Bell for using the bullpen too early. The Truman Sports Complex restrooms are bad enough. They smell. They’re crowded. The troughs must have been designed to INCREASE splashing. They’re WAY too hot. The pungent aroma grabs hold of your clothes and never lets go. We need as little time as possible in there. So, here’s a New Year’s plea. Just do your business and proceed forward like the Soup Nazi’s line. We can argue over our Kansas City sports resolutions in the concessions line.
BEST OF: The Panthers Dancers stop by and don't stop talking for twenty minutes. Wait, you're home schooled? BEST OF: Heat legend Glen Rice in studio on dropping 56 on the Magic, Final Fours and MMA. BEST OF: "The Obama Guy" now has D.A.'s old job! He asked the Prez a question, then he joined the show. BEST OF: Phil and Chris Simms drop by the broadcast to rap about dad's career and son's future. BEST OF: Why so few minority college coaches? DA answers with one word: Boosters. BEST OF: When a Super Bowl MVP and Hall of Famer talks, you listen. The immortal Lynn Swann. BEST OF: TNA Wrestling's Traci Brooks on being blessed with, ahem, great dimensions. DA LOVES THE KIDS: After Marlins summer-camp day, the next gen of Fish Fans might be in trouble. DA LOVES THE KIDS: Part 1 Heat charity camp shows us D-Wright's defense needs a little work.
DA LOVES THE KIDS: Part 2 Not everyone is thrilled with the hiring of Eric Spoelstra. INSTANT CLASSIC: Free-agent Joe Horn blasts his old coaches and asks for Dolphins forgiveness, all live on the show! INSTANT CLASSIC: The man who took down Kimbo Slice: overnight celebrity Seth Petruzelli talks about the fight that stunned the fight world. BEST OF: Author Jeff Pearlman on the controversial Cowboys dynasty. Uh, ew. BEST OF: Heat rookie Mario Chalmers needs help hot-boxing. Cough, cough.. BEST OF: DA is named a Godfather. Can he handle the responsibility or will he sleep with the fishes? BEST OF: DA witnesses the greatest kids game ever. Rock, paper, scissors, space! STAR WARS GEEKS: Part 1 DA goes where no sportstalk host has gone before: Star Wars premier night.
STAR WARS GEEKS: Part 2 Will DA make it out alive or turn into an extra from the Cantina Bar? INSTANT CLASSIC: Legend of the MMA Dan "Hendo" Henderson on the circus attraction to Kimbo and the rise of UFC. BEST OF: New UFC Champ Forrest Griffin on the belt and bouncing out of fighting while the gettin's good. INSTANT CLASSIC: Zo's youth clinic brings us immediate joy: Heat Kids Say the Darndest Things BEST OF: Miami boxer Joey "Twinkle Fingers" Hernandez found himself on the streets. How he got his mojo back. BEST OF: CBS4 Weather Wizard and Miss Florida Lissette Gonzalez on the jet-stream and the wave. BEST OF: Marino delivers a commencement speech and DA's own graduation horrors. INSTANT CLASSIC: Cats winger Nathan Horton is married to a Playmate? Oops. INSTANT CLASSIC: What does JoePa really mean at pressers? Ask Penn State 101. INSTANT CLASSIC: St. Patty's Day means celebrating Irish sports legends: DA Show style. INSTANT CLASSIC: Canes Big Man Dwayne Collins has his Aladdin DVD stolen. The Horror! INSTANT CLASSIC: Dontrelle says peace to South Florida with DA. Here's his Top-3 movies of all-time. SUPER BOWL XLII: NYG's Lawrence Tynes stops by after the ticker tape parade. INSTANT CLASSIC: Is Shaq becoming M.C. Hammer Jr? Say it ain't so. INSTANT CLASSIC: DA melts down as his alma mater brings brings back the dimwitted Greg Robinson for more SU pain. INSTANT CLASSIC: This placed DA squarely on the Chiefs blacklist forever. DA and King Carl in THE Battle Royale. BEST OF: Where it all started: Herm
and Carl agree... Damon is a nice name. SUPER BOWL XL: D.A. does his best investigative work ever. It's the field turf press conference from Detroit. INSTANT CLASSIC: The Mark Mangino Montage tastes better than ever! INSTANT CLASSIC: The 2007 Herm-Gasm. 'Nuff said. INSTANT CLASSIC: The Chiefs Dept. of Misinformation is at it once again. Are the Chiefs wearing white or not? Don't ask them. INSTANT CLASSIC: Chicago's legendary Mike North joins DA to preview Chiefs- Bears. Da Bears! INSTANT CLASSIC : The annual DA Show NBA Mock Draft is here... with a return from Stormbot. FEATURED AUDIO: Royals legend Denny Matthews has bought his first cell phone. Unfortunately, it's not as easy as 6-4-3. FEATURED AUDIO: A fond DA Show farewell to Buddy Bell. He really was "Our Buddy." FEATURED AUDIO
: Lauren Nichole has made quite an impression with her traffic reports. Great or gross? You decide. The
one, the only, Zach Greinke from Royals Spring Training. The
2007 One NIT NIT Moment.
The 2006 Caller Hall of Fame Track One: Christopher Walken's legendary roast
of the new class
First the staff. Then listeners. Now LJ has the Herm-gasm? Crazy
Ray sings the Growing Pains theme song. The
Royals 70's jingle that puts a smile on your face during another horrid season
in KC. The
local TV anchors slip up on the broadcast and luckily the D.A. Show was rolling
tape. 6-6-06:
The Crypt Keeper's Holiday Crazy
Ray displays his talent for singing. Could he make a run at the next American
Idol? Oklahoma
takes it on the chin with this famous call from R.B. Missed
any of the NIT NIT action? Check out the recaps of the games and a special
edition of The One NIT NIT Moment. We
couldn't leave Alex the Intern out of the mix, check out the drunk dial message
Alex left for D.A. The
D.A. Show tribute to Alan Thicke.
Is
Crazy Ray really crazy? Take a listen to find out.
A
D.A. Show Investigation reveals color commentators handing out the pink slip
to local college coaches.
Quinner's
feeling a bit down. We ask, what's wrong with Quinn Snyder? Herm Edwards gave us quotable material right from jump street. He gets a montage based on his introduction presser. A
staple of any good office party. It's the Dick Vermeil montage XP: final edition.
Duh, ok.
DA's Hometown Hottie contest created controversy throughout KC. Radio superstar Johnny Dare stuck his nose in the middle of it. The
callers finally had their own chance to put their stamp on the Vermeil montage Why
do the sista's hate the show? It all started here: Yvette's call of the day The original D.A. Show parody of Jim Rome's smack-off (circa '04). The '05 D.A. Show parody of Jim Rome's smack-off, complete with a certain national columnist. The '06 smack-smack, which brought all the D.A. Show legends together for one fab event. You asked for it. We delivered. DA Show icon Alan Thicke's first appearance.
The New Year is the perfect time to look back at past twelve months and learn from our mistakes. But for Kansas City sports fans in 2006, are there any lessons left to learn? 2005 served us dashed Super Bowl hopes, another 100-loss season, a March Madness tourney upset, NCAA investigations and the ABA (yes, the ABA itself is a harsh lesson in reality). What else is left? The plague: Priest Holmes’ myriad maladies. The flood: The twenty-year anniversary of the Royals only World Championship washed out in a weekend-long rainstorm. Locusts: Well, how about armies of rats scurrying through Kemper. So, let’s make the list of 2006 Sports Resolutions knowing we’ve seen the worst (let’s hope).
